Repent, then, and turn to God,
so that your sins may be wiped out,
that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.
—Acts 3:19
With Valentine’s Day coming up, I was sure this blog would be all about love. Instead, I feel called to write about lamentation, confession, and repentance. Maybe it’s because my early attempts at love had more to do with physical gratification than emotional intimacy.
In my defense, when I committed these “desires of the flesh,” I was a Christian in name only. It was only after I encountered Jesus that I came to realize the magnitude of my sinful behavior. The apostle Paul wrote, “Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace” (Romans 8:5-6).
Unattended sin can grow and fester, like an untreated wound. The only cure is repentance. The Bible tells us this time and time again. God consistently called his wayward people to repent of their sins, warning them that consequences await those who fail to comply. “Therefore, I will judge each of you according to your own ways, declares the Sovereign Lord. Repent! Turn away from all your offenses; then sin will not be your downfall. Rid yourselves of all the offenses you have committed, and get a new heart and a new spirit. Why will you die? For I take no pleasure in the death of anyone, declares the Sovereign Lord. Repent and live!” (Ezekiel 18:30-32).
Despite God’s plea and warning, the people of Israel often chose their own way instead of God’s way. “None of them repent of their wickedness, saying, ‘What have I done?’ Each pursues their own course like a horse charging into battle” (Jeremiah 8:6).
I was not going to be like those Israelites. When I came to know Christ, the true gravity of my past sin became apparent. I knew I needed to repent and ask for God’s forgiveness.
To repent means to turn away from sin and turn toward God. This is an impossible act apart from lamentation and confession. To lament means to express true sorrow or regret for one’s actions. It is a sign that the offender recognizes her sin and the pain it has caused. This is then followed by the act of confession where the offender verbalizes her sin and asks for God’s forgiveness. Confession without lament is like saying “I’m sorry you’re hurting” but not taking responsibility for being the one who inflicted the pain. “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death” (2 Corinthians 7:10).
With tears streaming down my face, I cried out to God in shame and regret and asked for his forgiveness. That was over 20 years ago.
So, why were some of those old memories still haunting me today?
If I had confessed without lamenting, I would expect to be haunted by past sins. If I had confessed without repenting, I would expect to still be caught in the cycle of sin. If I had lamented without asking for forgiveness, I would expect to still feel guilty. But I had done it all. God had forgiven me. I know this. I remember the peace that came over me, like a weight being lifted.
I found the answer I was looking for in the story of King David and Bathsheba.
During a time of war, David commits adultery with Bathsheba, the wife of one of his soldiers. When Bathsheba discovers she is pregnant with David’s child, David sends her husband to the front lines of battle to be killed. The cover-up doesn’t hold. Nathan the prophet exposes David’s sin and tells him that the child Bathsheba is carrying will not live.
“David pleaded with God for the child. He fasted and spent the nights lying in sackcloth on the ground. The elders of his household stood beside him to get him up from the ground, but he refused, and he would not eat any food with them” (2 Samuel 12:16-17). David responds with lament and confession. He accepts responsibility for his sin, anguishes over his actions, and begs God’s forgiveness.
Nonetheless, David’s son died just as Nathan said he would. Though David’s prayers weren’t answered, his lament led to confession and his confession led to forgiveness—and David accepted that he had been forgiven.
After his son died, David got up from the ground, worshipped the Lord, and ate a meal. His attendants asked him, “Why are you acting this way? While the child was alive, you fasted and wept, but now that the child is dead, you get up and eat!” He answered, “While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, ‘Who knows? The Lord may be gracious to me and let the child live.’ But now that he is dead, why should I go on fasting?” (2 Samuel 12:21-23)
David paid the price for his adultery with the death of his son, yet he was able to get up from the ground, worship, and eat. Why? Because he accepted the consequences of his sins and acknowledged God’s forgiveness. To do anything less would have given Satan a foothold.
David wrote these words in Psalm 32, verses 1 and 2: “Blessed is the one whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the one whose sin the Lord does not count against them and in whose spirit is no deceit.”
When God says we are forgiven, we are forgiven. “For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us” (Psalm 103:11-12). This is God’s gift of grace.
We have no right to pick up our shame and regret if we’ve already laid it down before the cross. Accepting God’s forgiveness washes us clean and leads us into His loving heart. David knew this, and now, so do I.
Perhaps this is the perfect Valentine’s message after all.
THE SONG THAT COMES TO MIND is Repent (What a Joy it Is) by The Worship Initiative
Favorite lyric: “Your goodness makes me wanna sing. Your mercy brings me to my knees. Your faithfulness is with me 'till the end. And Your kindness makes me want to repent.”